Finding out I had breast cancer

It started after I breastfed my youngest son Oliver, whom I breastfed for 1 year and 2 months. About three months later, I felt a lump on my left breast. I took action right away and went to a well known doctor in Abu Dhabi. She examined me and was not worried because she said I had just finished breastfeeding. To double check she sent me for an Ultrasound to the Cure. The ultrasound came back clear. Then I did a mammogram later that year and the results came back clear. They told me to check back again after 6 months. I did as they said, I went for a second ultrasound after six months and then they sent me for a biopsy at Al Noor Hospital. The Doctor who received the report of the biopsy said everything looked fine. He said to remove the cyst at my convenience. I did not feel very confident with that doctor so I went back to the first doctor. She saw the report and did not like it at all..she said: this report does not say anything at all and she decided to send me to Dubai to a wonderful doctor named Paul Sayad, who did my surgery at City Hospital in Dubai. 

After one week I came back to see him. I came to see him with a smile in my face because I was planning to go shopping for presents for my family this summer. I sat down in his office and I asked: So, do you have my results?……I will never forget the serious look on his face. He said yes, I do and they are not good. First I thought, yeah right. He must be joking but then I said why?! He said it was a tumor with cancer. I started to cry and saw my 3 children and my husband in my mind and I told him: I cannot be sick, I have 3 children and a wonderful husband. I kept crying, sobbing. It was not a fun experience since I was alone. I did not expect to hear these news. I cried the whole day and did not want to eat or speak to anyone. Dr. Sayad told me that he would help me. He told me you need to stay positive but in that moment I was just to shocked and thought he was telling me this only to keep me calm. I went to my car and balled for another 30 minutes then called my husband whom immediately showed up to talk to the doctor. My husband was completely shocked as well. I mean how could I possibly have cancer. I don’t have breast cancer history in my family, I eat healthy 90% of the time, I don't smoke, I rarely drink alcohol, I am a fitness instructor and I have a very happy personal life. That following weekend was very emotional. I woke up in the morning and went to my lounge with a cup of tea. It was 6 am, shortly after my husband showed up. He told me with tears in his eyes that he would look for the best treatment for me. He told me we will fight together and get rid of it. We agreed not to tell the kids at this point. 

I decided to change my doctor because the trips to Dubai were overwhelming and very tiring, I was very lucky to have Cleveland Clinic in Abu Dhabi which opened shortly after my first surgery. I had the pleasure to meet Dr. Yasir Akmal a general surgeon that had just arrived from California whose specialty was breast surgeries for breast cancer. He was very savvy on my situation. He recommended an MRI followed  by a lumpectomy I did my MRI and Thank God the other breast looked clear then I had my surgery in which the doctor removed three lymph nodes and additional tissue from my left breast. He gave me so much confidence before he did the operation. He introduced me to everyone in the Operating room before they put me to sleep. I held his hand and thanked him and I told him: I trust you Doctor do what you have to do. He answered: your life is part of my life now and you are going to be just fine. One thing I learned here is that you have to like and trust your doctor and you need to let them know. Dr. Yasir was always very honest with me and that gave me a lot of confidence towards him. 

After my surgery I got my results 4 days later. I had to wait for the weekend to pass and oh boy! that weekend was loooong. I been learning that when you get a diagnosis like this there is always waiting time and this can be very frustrating but at the same time, I learned that I need to enjoy every moment and yes it was frustrating not knowing but I had to enjoy life anyway. I am lucky that I do not have any symptoms. I do not feel sick at all!! on the contrary I have tons of energy and I am dying to teach my classes. I also have my family that needs to see me smile and enjoy life with them, especially if I do not feel ill.

Got my results. Fortunately from the three lymph nodes he took out, only one came back positive. What does this mean: Well, it means that the cancer has gone to one of the lymph nodes and this is not so good but it is good that it only went to one. This lymph nodes carry the blood cells to the rest of the body, some bad cells might be in my body now because of this. We don't know for sure. This meant that most likely I will need Chemotherapy and yes this sucks! I am not going to lie. Chemotherapy scares me. I am a woman and of course it scares me to loose my hair, It scares me to be sick all the time, it scares me to loose my energy which has been high all my life. I don't know what is going to happen but at this point I just want to get rid of the cancer ( I call it my mutation). I felt really sad when they told me that. I have felt sad through this process many times but always knowing in the bottom of my heart that I will be fine. I always picture myself healthy because this is how I feel. Even if I get stressed, angry or sad. The next day, I wake up and I see it as another opportunity to live positive. This day we decided to tell my two older kids. I told them that they had found a small tumor and that the tumor had cancer. I told them that it was early detection and that I was going to be fine. I also said that many people hear the word cancer and get really scared but explained that there are several types of cancer and that mine was very curable. I had to tell them because they are older 10 and 9 and they get it. I mean they saw me having two surgeries, saw me crying a couple of times and always wondered what was going on. I did not want to create any type of anxiety for them and after researching enough we came to the conclusion that the best thing for them is to know the truth and to feel included in this process.

 After the surgery the next step is to have CT scans of the essential organs and bones. Did my scans and thank God again all these scans came back clear with nothing!!!.  See, how lucky I am! yes I have breast cancer but I am going to be fine. Yes, it will be hard at times but you know what I have so many people supporting me. My family and my amazing friends. Even strangers have been great. I realize how lucky I am every day and I also discovered that in this world there is more good people than bad. We are in a good place and I have a mission to educate women and spread the love that I have been given. I created this blog for you to take care of yourself, for you yes YOU to check your self every month. No one knows your body better than you do! even if you do ultrasounds and mammograms always check your self. It was me who saved my life. It was my personal examination who saved me. The best time to check your breast is after your menstrual period not before.

Insurance: Thankfully I have an amazing insurance that covers everything but since it is an insurance from Abu Dhabi we had to call them ahead of time and informed them about my plans for my treatment. It took some time to figure out everything but everything worked out well at the end.

I just arrived to California and will go to a Cancer Center called Moores at the University of California San Diego. I am seeing a team of Oncologists here to find out which stage is my cancer. I am ready to fight like a beast and am planning many long walks on the beach and lots of meditation.

Last thing I want to mention today. Some of my friends tell me: how come this happened to you?, you are one of the healthiest persons I know, I guess it does not matter if you are healthy or not. My answer to the above question was: It matters if you are HEALTHY and FIT!! This is what the doctors keep telling me you have a very strong body, it shows in all your tests. Also I believe that this is why my scans came back clean and this is why it will be easier for me to fight cancer. 

Like my father told me: All these things you been doing all your life to stay healthy are like a savings account for your body. Savings account for rainy days like this. 

I also have a dear friend that likes to work out a lot and is super healthy with his food. He said: "People ask me all the time, why are you so healthy and why do you like to exercise so much?". His answer is: "I am preparing for the zombie attack". If It ever hits me, I will be ready for it and my body will be strong to combat the Zombies.

So my advice is: stay HEALTHY and FIT, no matter what!!! Be ready for any Zombie attack and keep saving for rainy days.